Boost Your Self Confidence by Getting Rid of the Narcissist in Your Life

People can utilize whichever tool aids them the most in their recovery. Yes I said "recovery". It is important that we understand the need to recover from a narcissist. It takes time and work to recover.

Narcissists affect our psyches more in being ways that others do not. Narcissists use what is called emotional abuse in order to control the significant others in their lives. Because there are no bruises or evidence of abuse, this can at times be more traumatic to victims because it aids the narcissist in his attempt to make you believe he did nothing wrong and that you deserve the treatment because of something you said or did.

Basically, narcissists will shatter our self-confidence, confuse and frustrate us and demean and criticize us tremendously. They build us up only to degrade us, hurt our loved ones, involve us in their paranoid states of mind and withhold love and sex from us. Their emotional abuse can take months or even years to truly heal from.

There are no quick fixes and the more the narcissist cannot be cured, you can if you're honest and work at it. One of the best ways is for us, victims, and our friends and families to educate ourselves about narcissists. To ask the tough questions and be ready for the answers and to validate and talk about how we, who've been through this, can relate to each other in a way no one else can. I personally believe we're meant to learn from the experiences we have in life and pass this learning on to others.

My ex-husband jokes from Day One that he was a narcissist and I didn't think much of it. I knew he was confident and thought there was nothing more to it. It wasn't until eight years into our relationship and certain events in my life that I've finally looked into the true meaning of narcissism and what I learned changed my life and helped me understand his behavior and realized I could do nothing to change it.

In life, there are times we must accept the fact that the only person we can change is ourselves. I want to take what I learned to help others understand the narcissist in their life and several others share this same passion.

In the next article, I will discuss someone who just recently finalized her divorce from a pathological narcissist and like many of us, would like to take what she learned from this experience to help others.

Listen to Lisa E. Scott at http://www.AllAboutHim.com where you can follow her on her weekly radio show - All About Him - building awareness on narcissism, offering advice on spotting a narcissist, and a support group call the Vain Forum, which is a message board and blog to help women get out of their narcissistic relationships that are holding them back.